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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23840800">Love is Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiel/pseuds/Destiel'>Destiel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Family Feels, Father-Son Relationship, Feelings, Feelings Realization, M/M, Talking</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:20:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,417</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23840800</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiel/pseuds/Destiel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Christopher and Eddie have an honest talk about their favorite person in the world: Buck.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Christopher Diaz &amp; Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Eddie Diaz/Shannon Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Christopher Diaz &amp; Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley &amp; Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>231</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Love is Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nea/gifts">Nea</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So... I guess I TRIED to fulfill another of Nea's prompts, and it was "Christopher's thoughts/POV about Eddie and Buck or maybe even Eddie/Buck"... I am honest to god not sure if that's what she meant by that, but the idea of Eddie and Chris having a talk like that was in my mind for a while now, so I hope, you're gonna enjoy, even though there is no "real" Buck appearing in the story. I tried to include him anyway, to some extent =D</p><p>And I do hope, you enjoy!</p><p>Kudos are amazing, Comments are even better!</p><p>=D</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">Love is Love</span>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Eddie was just about to turn off the lights and shut the door to his son’s room when he heard his voice coming from the bed.</p><p> </p><p>“Dad?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?” Immediately, he turned around to look at the nine-year-old.</p><p> </p><p>“Can I ask you a question?” Christopher wanted to know.</p><p> </p><p>A smile appeared on Eddie’s lips.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure, buddy! You can ask me anything,” he replied, crossing the room again to sit down on the bed.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you love Buck?”</p><p> </p><p>Surprised and somewhat stunned, Eddie tilted his head.</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>It felt like an odd question, but maybe it wasn’t. Christopher was at an age where he asked a lot of them. It just had never been something like that.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you love Buck?” Christopher repeated.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie scratched the back of his neck, feeling himself get a little nervous, even though he knew there was no reason to. This was his son and he had asked a probably very innocent question.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean... yes, of course I love Buck,” he finally replied.</p><p> </p><p>“And does Buck love you too?” Christopher demanded to know next.</p><p> </p><p>“I would assume he does, yes,” Eddie answered with a smile on his face.</p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t help but wonder how Buck would have dealt with all those questions and almost wished he was here, so they could do this together, because he had no idea where this was going or why Christopher was so curious all of a sudden.</p><p> </p><p>Yes, they had spent a lot of time with Buck – especially lately – but he had always thought Christopher had enjoyed their family-moments as well. But maybe his questions indicated otherwise. Maybe it had gotten too much for Christopher.</p><p> </p><p>“Listen, Chris, if you don’t want Buck to-“ he started, but Christopher cut him off mid-sentence.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you love Buck like you loved mommy?”</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, Eddie just stared at his son wide-eyed, not exactly sure how to answer <em>that</em> question. Especially since he wasn’t so sure about his feelings himself.</p><p> </p><p>Until recently he had thought of Buck as his best friend. Probably the best he ever had. But something had changed. Slowly, but surely, Buck had found a way into his heart. A heart he had thought he had closed for good after Shannon’s death. It had been hard for him, harder than he liked to admit, and the pain of losing her after just finding her again had almost torn him apart from the inside. Especially considering that he had always tried to be strong for Christopher. Not let it show.</p><p> </p><p>One night, though, it had become all too much. Too overwhelming.</p><p> </p><p>Christopher had already been asleep and he and Buck had watched a movie together. One of those corny romance comedies Buck really loved for whatever reason, and suddenly had had been unable to catch his breath. The woman on screen had reminded him <em>so much</em> of Shannon that it had taken everything for him not to fall apart right away.</p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t made it till the end of the movie, though.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly the tears had started falling and as much as he tried, he couldn’t keep the sobs escaping his throat any longer.</p><p> </p><p>Instead of saying anything, Buck had wrapped his arms around him and pulled him against his chest, just holding him. His hands had gently stroked his back while Eddie clung to him like dear life itself. He had never felt safer in his whole life, than in this moment, in Buck’s arms.</p><p> </p><p>He had let it all out.</p><p> </p><p>He had just cried in Buck’s arms for god knew how long.</p><p> </p><p>All Buck had said was ‘I was wondering when it’s gonna hit you, but I was hoping it would be when I’m with you. I’m here, okay? Always!’. His words had been so gentle. So reassuring and in that moment Eddie had known he was gonna be okay. <em>They</em> were gonna be okay. He and Christopher. Because they had someone in their corner, no matter what.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie knew that the whole Firehouse-family would be there for him if he needed them, but if he was honest to himself: Buck was the only one he <em>really</em> wanted to help him get through this.</p><p> </p><p>And he had.</p><p> </p><p>And at some point Eddie’s feelings for Buck had started to blossom into more than just brotherly love. Something far deeper.</p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t told anyone, though.</p><p> </p><p><em>Especially</em> not Buck.</p><p> </p><p>And definitely not Christopher.</p><p> </p><p>Which was why all these questions about him loving Buck came out of left field.</p><p> </p><p>Only then did he realize that Christopher was still looking at him, was still waiting for an answer.</p><p> </p><p>A sigh left Eddie’s lips.</p><p> </p><p>“Why are you asking?” he counter questioned.</p><p> </p><p>“Because...” Christopher started to knead his blanket. “Because if you <em>did</em> love him like you loved mommy, you could get married, and then Buck could be my stepdad.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Eddie was sure the surprise was visible on his face. “Is that <em>really </em>something you would like?” He had expected a lot of answers, but definitely not this one.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes!” Christopher exclaimed happily.</p><p> </p><p>“I would love that. If you marry Buck, then he can move in with us and then he will live here and will never have to leave in the evenings. I don’t like it when he’s not here.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t like that either,” Eddie concured.</p><p> </p><p>“But even if I<em> did</em> love him like mommy, and I’m not saying I do... it takes more than just me loving him this way.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then you just have to ask him if he loves you too,” Christopher answered. Simple as that. More than just a little naive. But he was a child. He was allowed to be naive. He was allowed to still see the world in all kinds of positive ways.</p><p> </p><p>“And then what?” Eddie asked curiously.</p><p> </p><p>“If he says he loves you too, you could tell him that he should come live with us. But if you’re scared, I ask him for you,” Christopher offered. “I will just talk to him next time he comes over.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I can imagine you would,” Eddie chuckled.</p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t help but feel a warmth growing inside of him. He would have thought having this talk with Christopher <em>eventually</em> would be far more difficult. He hadn’t expected it to go that smoothly. But then again, he also hadn’t expected it to happen with a nine-year-old Christohpher. He had thought he had a couple more years for that. Still, it was exhilarating, freeing, to know that Christopher didn’t give a damn that they were both men. That in his eyes love was love, no matter with whom.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie really wished the whole world was like that, but sadly, it wasn’t. There was still so much hate out there, hate that would probably never completely disappear. But at least things were far better now than they were twenty years ago. A lot had changed since then.</p><p> </p><p>“So... are you gonna talk to Buck?” Christopher’s voice pulled Eddie out of his thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe,” Eddie shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Christopher seemed to be satisfied with that answer. For now. Eddie was fully aware that his kid wasn’t one to forget and eventually, he would have to man up to his feelings.</p><p> </p><p>But not now.</p><p> </p><p>Not tonight.</p><p> </p><p>“Chris?”</p><p> </p><p>His son looked up at him expectantly.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, daddy?”</p><p> </p><p>“You know that <em>we</em>... I mean, you, me and Buck, <em>are</em> already a family, right? And that we always will be, whether Buck and I get married or not. That will never change. Not for me and not for Buck,” Eddie assured him.</p><p> </p><p>“Promise?” Christopher gave back.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“I promise!”</p><p> </p><p>He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on Christopher’s forehead.</p><p> </p><p>“But now it’s time for you to sleep, okay? We can talk again tomorrow if there’s still something you need to say.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I’m fine,” Christopher replied with the biggest smile on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Good night, Daddy!”</p><p> </p><p>“Good night!” Eddie replied, when he got back to his feet and walked to the door.</p><p> </p><p>Turning off the lights, he closed the door to Christophers room and leaned against it, taking a deep breath.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe Christopher was right.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe it <em>was</em> that easy.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe he should just take the advice of his very clever nine-year-old son and tell Buck how he felt.</p><p> </p><p>And maybe his feelings weren’t one-sided at all.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe they could become something<em> real</em> eventually.</p><p> </p><p>Something that wasn’t just them being best buddies.</p><p> </p><p>There was only one way to find out.</p><p> </p><p>But not now.</p><p> </p><p>Not tonight.</p><p> </p><p>When he was ready.</p>
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